I’ve seen this collection in a number of places online, most often quote from Fortune Magazine. Hope you find them entertaining.
I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Its best for employers that I not work with people.
Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
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