It’s been observed before that we live in a world where language is often “softened” by euphemisms. George Carlin once said that that people were no longer fired, instead “management wanted to curtail redundancies in the human resources area, so many people are no longer viable members of the workforce.”
The Recruiters Network has played on this idea these “Job descriptions revealed”:
Competitive Salary = We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
Must be deadline-oriented = You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Must have an eye for detail = Because we have no quality control.
Problem-solving skills a must = Welcome to perpetual chaos.
Requires leadership skills = All the responsibilities of a manager, without all that pesky pay and respect.
I write the majority of job descriptions and online job postings for my company and so I find the above particularly entertaining. While I don’t commit the kind of “cover-ups” above; I will admit to a bit of “translating”. For example:
Ability to gain buy-in from others is key = because no one actually reports to you.
Extensive travel to be expected = See, the location doesn't matter, you're never there!
Picturesque location! Just two hours from Chicago! = Iowa
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