Oops!

So one of my coworkers asked if I wrote this post on slate.com

I am much smarter than my co-workers. When one of them asks a dumb question (i.e., "What's so bad about Fox News?"), I try to be sensitive and explain without making them feel stupid. Sometimes, though, I get very frustrated, and it's difficult to hold my tongue... How does one handle working with people like this? I could keep my mouth shut and go with the flow, but it makes me feel dumb when I don't speak up—I feel that if I don't acknowledge their stupidity, then I'm not doing my duty as an informed young woman.

I think she was kidding - at least I hope she was. Maybe I need to bring the intellectual snobbery down a notch or two???

Yikes!

It's a jungle out there!

I really love the ad campaign that Career Builder is running these days - beginning with the "Promotion Pit" ad during the superbowl.

It appears that the good folks at CareerBuilder have now teamed up with the coporate side of the Second City comedy team to produce:

"Cube Monkeys: A Handbook for Surviving the Office Jungle" (available on Amazon) which features top 10 lists, games and hilarious advice.

You can find an excerpt on MSN Careers (powered by CareerBuilder)

But here are my favorites from the: The Boss-to-English Translator

"Great job on the report!"
Translation: "I'm taking credit for your work."

"Let me give you some broadstroke ideas and you can fill in the rest."
Translation: "I still haven't learned how to create an Excel document."

"This office is a family and my door is always open if you ever need to powwow with Papa Bear."
Translation: "I am a tool."

"I'll be out of the office for a couple hours with senior management, but you can reach me on my mobile."
Translation: "I'm playing golf."

"I'll be off-site and unreachable for the rest of the afternoon."
Translation: "I'm playing golf and I expect to be very, very drunk."

"I think we should order in some lunch for the team."
Translation: "None of you are getting a raise. Enjoy your pizza."

"It's good to see you take such bold initiative!"
Translation: "You are a threat to me. You will be fired the next time we so much as run out of coffee."

"Did you finish those projections I asked you about on Friday?"
Translation: "I completely forgot to ask you about the projections on Friday, and I'm hoping your memory is even worse than mine."

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news."
Translation: "Disappointing you is the only pleasure I have left in my dead-end, crappy job."

Job Advertising

I don't think this is what anyone has in mind for "sizzle":

Experienced maintenance technician to work on any equipment problem in a wide variety of conditions: dark, dirty, greasy, foamy, steamy, windy, hot, cold, wet, dry, confined, open, indoors, outdoors, at heights, and under difficult equipment. Must have own tools and be willing to work odd and irregular hours, weekends and holidays, come in early and stay late. Need to have stamina to work through break times, meals and shift changes week after week with a positive attitude. The ability to make anything and everything out of nothing, and change priorities every 5 minutes or faster is required. Eagerness to work as a team-of-one without much support is essential.

On the up-side - at least it's accurate!

Interviewing is like dating

Ask a Manager recently outlined 7 Ways Interviewing is like Dating:

1. Desperation is not attractive.
2. Give the impression that you're choosy.
3. Make your interest personal, not generic.
4. Use flattery.
5. Remember to ask if you like them, not just if they like you.
6. Don't badmouth your exes.
7. Keep your ego in check.

I totally agree – there are a couple others I’d like to point out:

If you want to see them again – follow up. The value of a well written and prompt thank you note will go far in landing a second interview or an offer

If it isn’t going to work out – don’t leave them hanging. Honest and upfront feedback from the interviewer will save the candidate many a sleepless night waiting by the phone

Appearances do matter – look and act professional in your interview and ALWAYS be on time.

(and just because I love this story) Be wary of making “the first move” – remember hugging the HR Director is not a good idea. But in all seriousness, be aware of the culture you're interviewing in; are they conservative or laid back? Respond accordingly.

International "Talk Like a Pirate Day"

Who knew there was such a thing!

Here's what not to do in your interview today! http://www.chellar.com/ballog/?p=257

I wish I'd known this earlier today!

More Stupid Candidate Tricks

I was out of the office last week attending a users conference for our applicant tracking software - of course being in a hotel (and yes, a bar or two) full of recruiters, there were a few more "Stupid Candidate Trick" stories to be heard.

What really surprised me is that I heard from more than one recruiter -

A candidate shows up for the interview - everything goes wonderfully and the client makes an offer, the candidate accepts the offer and agrees to start the next week. However, when the candidate shows up for work - the candidate is an entirely different person.

I know what you're thinking - people are always different in interviews - but NO, not just a different persona - but a completely different PERSON!

Can you even imagine? I'm not even sure what the purpose of that is... I mean - do they think someone isn't going to notice the difference?

Job Advertising

Alright dedicated readers - if I have any - I need some help!

A large part of my job is writing our "job ads" for sites like CareerBuilder, The Ladders, our own website of course, and a niche boards like LatPro, the Society for Women Engineers, etc.

I feel like I'm in a rut.

All my ads feel the same to me -

1. Title - the actual job title not an ad title
2. Description of the hiring company and the main objective of the job
3. A basic overview of job responsbilities
4. An "ideal candidate" summary
5. Basic requirements
6. More about why you would want to work for this company or want this particular job (i.e. the sizzle.)

Sometimes there is a really great story to tell - and that makes it easier but other times...

So here's what I'd like to know from anyone that happens to stumble by:

• What would catch your eye in a job ad
• What are the best and worst job ads you've seen (I hope none of mine make the worst list!)
• Where do you (or people you know) go to look for jobs in your field (it's helpful if you identify the field too!)
• What are your biggest pet peeves about job ads
• Are opening lines like "Do you want to be a creative force in a fortune 500 company?" effective or cheesy?

I'd also be interested to know from any fellow recruiter-types what you've found works best for you?

Oh - and if anyone knows how to make Iowa sound like the BEST EVER place to live that would be great to know too!